It's Not Always About You

It’s sunny Sunday morning. You’re feeling good, you’re happy, and you have a few things that you need to get done today. 

The first thing on your list is to buy some food so that you can meal prep for the week. You’re a dedicated and structured person, so you like to make sure that your food is prepared for the whole week, rather than spending time Monday through Friday cooking various meals.

With that in mind you decide to head to local grocery store. You’ve been shopping at this store quite some time now, and really do enjoy going there.

You pick up everything you need. Meats, cheeses, potatoes, onions, eggs, avocados, vegetables, beets, salad, milk, a few other things.

You then head to the register to pay for everything you’ve picked up. You give the cashier smile, but surprisingly no smile is returned.

This throws you off a bit, but you continue on as if nothing happened.

You attempt to make small talk, but again nothing. You get a short response for something you would’ve otherwise expected much more.

Start thinking to yourself, “Wow this cashier is a bit rude?”

“She clearly seems agitated by something, she agitated at me? I didn’t do anything to her. Why is she acting so mean towards me?”

You then swipe to pay for your groceries, and the cashier, rather halfheartedly, hands you your receipt without a smile or “Have a nice day.”.

You then have thoughts that this was the worst experience you’ve had at this grocery store, and that you almost don’t want to come back again.

The cashier was completely rude, and for no reason at all. You did nothing to her.

But as you drive home and you contemplate the interaction, unbeknownst to you the cashier is back at the store trying to deal, as best as she possibly can, with the news that her grandfather has just passed away.

You see sometimes it’s not you. In fact majority of the time, it’s not you. Sometimes the reason why people act ill toward us is because of something they are dealing with in their own lives.

Sometimes they have so much stress on their minds that they begin to act rude toward us and others, just as a result of what they’re feeling. 

And they’re not doing it on purpose. They’re doing it without being conscious of it.

And its also important to note that this notion can even be extended to interactions that you have with people irregardless of if they’re dealing with some stressful situation or not. You see sometimes people will project their insecurities onto you, because you fit some sort of image in their minds that makes them feel this way, whether you did anything to them or not.

Not seeing someone’s negative attitude toward you as a direct attack on you, but rather as a representation of their inner psychology. Maybe it’s not that they don’t like you, but rather that something else in their lives is currently bothering them.

Sometimes it’s not you. In fact, most of the time it’s not you, but rather it’s something inside of them.

So remember this the next time you come across someone who is being rude to you. It just may be that they’re dealing with something internally and they’re projecting it onto you, whether they’re conscious of it or not.