Self-confidence is extremely crucial to your emotional well-being. If you don't have confidence in yourself and feel good about yourself, then you can never reach a fulfilling life. You can never reach a state of bliss.
The whole notion of self-confidence can seem so odd and unattainable. We tend to think that some people are just born with it, while others are not.
Well I'm here to tell you that's wrong.
Self-confidence is a skill and you can learn to build it in your own life using the rules below.
RULE 1: POSITIVE AFFIRMATION
Hall of Fame Boxer
This rule is one that many of the most successful people have used. It's about continually telling yourself that you will succeed and that you are good enough.
By doing this you begin to change your subconscious mind, which plays a crucial role in your belief in yourself. It's your subconscious that ultimately helps you or hurts you. And the beautiful thing about it is the you can train your subconscious mind to believe.
Tell yourself over and over that you will accomplish your goals. Start every morning by looking at yourself in the mirror and saying: "I will reach my goals. I will succeed."
This is hugely powerful, but you must make sure to mean it. If you don't mean it every time you say it, then you'll never change your subconscious. Be a believer in yourself and in your goals.
CEO of Berkshire Hathaway
RULE 2: REPETITION
Practice, practice, practice.
Unless you're working to perfect your craft, you can never feel truly confident. You may go into something that you don't have much experience with and feel okay, but it doesn't even compare to how you would feel if you had a lot of experience with it.
If you continuously put yourself into a certain situation, then you will begin to understand it. You will begin to learn how to deal with it, and you will learn the ins and outs of it. Then when you're finally tested, your self-confidence will be high and you will know what to do.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote in his book Outliers: The Story of Success about the 10,000 hour rule. It simply states that in order to reach a world-class level in a particular field, you must first put in 10,000 hours of practice.
So go out there and start practicing!
RULE 3: DON'T COMPETE WITH OTHERS. COMPETE WITH YOURSELF.
If you're constantly comparing yourself to others, then you're constantly going to be under attack. You'll come across someone who is better than you at something, and it'll cause anxiety and a feeling of unease.
Instead focus on increasing your skills so that you can get better for yourself. By doing this you will get rid of any feelings of bitterness you may have when you come across someone who has a higher skill level.
Keep in mind, the whole point of building self-confidence is to focus on yourself and change the way you feel internally. Don't focus on the people around you.
"If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter, but if you continuously compete with yourself, you become better."
RULE 4: PERSISTENCE THROUGH FAILURE
This is another rule that many successful people follow. They interpret failure as an opportunity to grow.
Most of us will scream and shout when we're faced with adversity. We see the struggle as something that's inconvenient and wish it had not happened to us. Some of us even look up at the sky and ask: "Why did this have to happen to me?"
However it's the people who decide to see the positivity in failure, that are able to continue on and succeed in achieving their goals. This increases self-confidence because it teaches us to be self-reliant. It teaches us that no matter what life may throw at us, we can find a solution and even grow stronger from it because we'll know how to deal with it in the future.
Take a look at the story of JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series. She was turned down by 12 publishers before she finally got a "Yes" from Bloomsbury Publishing.
It's safe to say that those who said "No" made a huge mistake.
RULE 5: LEARN TO USE CRITICISM
This one goes hand in hand with Rule 4. Just as you need to see the positivity in failure, you need see the positivity in criticism.
Critics are there help you see where you need to grow, but be wary because critics aren't always right, many times they're wrong. It's best to stay away from negativity, but sometimes we can't avoid it, and it's in those situations where using criticism as a lesson to get better is extremely crucial.
If you allow criticism to take control of you, then your self-confidence will begin to drop and you will eventually lose. When someone says something bad about us it can cause negative thoughts to flood our minds, so it's important to be mindful of these thoughts and instead take a positive stance.
Don't fight the critics, accept them.
Former British Prime Minister
RULE 6: SELF-CONFIDENCE IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD
Arguably the most important rule of building unwavering self-confidence is the realization that it's all in your head. Everything is based on how you look at it.
This rule is so important because it ties all of the other rules together. Once you figure this one out, the rest will come naturally. Utilizing it will give you the ability to change your thought process. It will give you the ability to be in control of yourself and be one with your emotions.
The only way to do this is to be mindful of everything you think and feel. Be aware of the negativity you bring onto yourself and the effect that it has on you. At the same time be aware of your positivity. Watch how it makes you feel and the self-confidence you gain from it.
Get rid of the negatives so that you can make more room for the positives.
“Don't let anyone (anything) rent space in your head, unless they're a good tenant.”